FWIW

2010-10-13T13:28:00.000-04:00

The write for ten project withered on the vine, so we should dust this off and use it to announce our new web site Florida Travel Notebook. Check it out. You'll find attractions and things to do that even if you live in Florida, you didn't know that they existed.

2010-05-02T11:04:00.000-04:00

Write for ten project, Sunday, May 2

How many of the states have you visited? Which ones have you missed?

I've visited 46 of the 50 states -- I'm missing Alaska and Hawaii off the mainland and the two northern corners, Washington and Maine.

I actually came within 2 miles of the Maine border once, but didn't go past the lobster shack we went to visit.

Of the 46 I have been in, I've been in more than 30 multiple times.

Heck, I've lived in Indiana, Florida, Maryland, Virginia, Michigan, New Mexico, Minnesota and Massachusetts. (Thank heaven for spell checkers, I still can't spell Massachusetts. But I did learn how to spell Albuquerque when I was there. )

My year's stay in Toulouse, France doesn't count as a state. LOL

2010-04-04T07:11:00.000-04:00

Write for ten topic, Sunday, April 4

Do you frequent Starbucks? If so, what's your favorite drink; if not, why not?

Do I frequent Starbucks? You betcha! And, if I were to stop going to my local Starbucks, they'd probably close the location because their gross income on "stores open over a year" would fall so dramatically.

You know you go to Starbucks (too?) often when 5 out of the 7 baristas that man (people?) that location during the week know your order and automatically ask, "One, two or three?"

If the answer is "One", they know to ring up a grand caramel frappacino, which is my favorite Starbucks drink.

If the answer is "Two", they know to add a strawberry banana Vivano, with whip cream on top for my wife.

If the answer is "Three", they know to add a grand mocha frappacino with chocolate on top of the whip cream, which I give as a treat to the house-bound old timer across the street at least once or twice a week.

And I know the totals for Two's and Three's before they ring it up. A Two is $8.45 and a Three is $13.33. It is not often that I get a One, but I think it is $4.85.

I don't go daily, but probably average 4 times a week. Which makes it (big gulp!) a $50 a week habit.

2010-03-28T07:55:00.000-04:00

Write for ten project for March 28.

Let's start another novel. Begin Chapter 1 with "It was a dark and stormy night and ..."

It was a dark and stormy night and Cash was just beyond the tree line. His black, waterproof windbreaker had the hood up protecting his head, but his jeans and sneakers were soaked. The Sig in his right hand at his side had drops running off its barrel in a constant stream.

The lightning kept illuminating the old farm house like it was an actress on the red carpet at an award show being photographed by the paparazzi. It played hell with his night vision.

His mom had always cautioned him to not stand under a tree during a storm. And the time between seeing the lightning and hearing the boom of thunder kept getting shorter. Then one lightning strike and thunder boom happened as one.

A shaking hand grabbed his arm.

"Damn, Carrie," he whispered, "I told you that you shouldn't come."

"But, Cash, that's my Dad in there being held hostage."

2010-03-26T12:44:00.004-04:00

Yet another write for ten project...

Switch genders. What would you be doing with your life?

Switch genders? You got to be crazy. No way. No how.

Do you think I want to go through life having dirty old men (like me) look only at my boobs and ass? Nope.

I can cook, but I don't really like to. Do I want to be the responsible one for every lunch and dinner? Nope.

I know how to do my own laundry. But, again, I don't like to do it. Do the entire family's laundry? No way. I don't know how to sort clothes like a woman and I don't want to learn.

Crying is not my bag. Tearing up over some soap opera, some steamy romantic novel, or some picture of an ugly baby is just not me.

I have a hard enough time surviving on my male's salary. Do I want to do the same job for 75% of the pay as a woman. Nope.

I can currently get up, do my bathroom thing, get dressed and be out the door in 10 minutes. A woman? She takes longer than that to just comb her hair or make up her eyes. No thank you.

I hate shopping. I can't imagine spending 90 minutes in every clothing store at the mall in order to find an outfit that I don't need to put in a closet that has no room left to hang it.

Now, I must admit it would be nice for someone else to take out the trash every night, take the trash to curbside on Monday and Thursday nights, put gas in my car, remember to take my car when it is due an oil change, pay the mortgage, fix things that I break, and give me money so I can shop till I drop. But, change genders? Never.

Ladies, before you get your undies in a knot, remember this:

Stereotypes wouldn't be stereotypes if they weren't stereotypes.

2010-03-22T14:49:00.002-04:00

Another Write for Ten project...

Are you a pet person? What pets do you currently have? If none, why? What pet would you like to have?

I like pets, particularly dogs -- although for reason, I am afraid of an unknown large dog.

Never had pets as a kid. Wife and I had a couple of dogs early on. A registered collie "Jolie Lassie" that was a super dog. And, a mutt for a while in Rockledge.

When the kids were small, they had a whole passel of gerbils and hampsters. Keep threatening to give the grandson a hampster and my daughter smiles and shakes her head no. Damn!

My wife is a bird lady. She kept a pair of cockatiels for 15 years. We bird set for a blue and gold macaw for a year and he was such a dream, that we later bought one. Who was noisy and only semi-tame. Not a good combination.

Her latest is a scarlet macaw and her and bird get along famously. She can do anything with him. He'll even play dead in the palm of her hand. BUT... (you knew that was coming, right?) Rocky absolutely is a one-person bird and will attack any and every one any chance he gets.

Which means that the sliding glass doors to the Florida room (aka, the bird room) must be kept closed at all times or else here he comes, using his clipped wings to help propel him across the floor to attack my feet. Hence, I cannot go barefoot in the house. And my every day boots have huge holes and gouges in them from his large beak.

One day, I swear, I'm going to see if that damn bird tastes like chicken.

2010-03-21T12:52:00.003-04:00

Write the first five paragraphs of your next novel.

The advantages of being one of the many homeless in St. Petersburg is that people ignore you, they don't make eye contact, you are essentially invisible. Which helps when you are on an important mission.

My street name is Sticky. I'm not homeless, I just like to walk around downtown and help those that are. For my safety, I dress down in an old overcoat that, true to my street name, contains several different instant glue products in the various pockets. Need the sole of your sneakers glued back on? Look for Sticky. If they only knew that I am a chemical engineer who retired from the adhesive business, am quite well off and live in a penthouse condo on the waterfront with its own entrance and elevator.

The Rays baseball team is threatening to move to another location. In my other, retired, life, I move in the business world locally and know that the owner is secretly set to jet to Orlando to sign an agreement to move the team there. He is scheduled to leave the office at 10 a.m. to catch his business jet. Since I believe they should adhere to the contract they have with the city and not stick the taxpayers with any more liabilities than we already stupidly have assumed, I have taken a few steps to insure he misses that flight and his deadline to close the deal.

Overnight, thanks to one of my homeless connections, I worked as a fill-in janitor in the Rays office. I was able to leave the owner a couple little presents. One was a brownie laced with Exlax on his desk. The other? A special pressure sensitive super glue on the toilet seat and on the hand rail alongside the john.

I've been standing on the corner by the office observing. He arrived at 8:30. It is now 9:30 and, oh yes, here comes the fire rescue squad and an ambulance now!

Did I mention that I also put special glue capsules under the toilet seat so it will be firmly fastened to the porcelain base?

2010-03-19T19:24:00.002-04:00

Experiences

What is an experience you would like to have, and don’t limit your imagination to reality. Would you like to appear on Survivor? Would you want to be invited to the White House? Would you like to climb a certain mountain? Swim with dolphins? Have a day without obligation to job, family, whatever? Soar like an eagle in a glider? Want me to stop making suggestions? OK, you got it! I'm outta here!

Well, I have had quite a few unique experiences. I have soared like an eagle in a glider. Belonged to a sailplane club back in the early 1960's, in fact.

Have had a couple of interesting helicopter rides. One, the VIP tour of Niagra Falls in a Bell jet helicopter and, two, a ride in a crop duster's Bell 'bubble' helicopter at the Minnesota State Fair. The pilot, of which, liked the way my wife screamed when he made it go up and down and turned on its side like a roller coaster. With me on the passenger side -- no door -- just a skimpy seat belt holding me in.

I've also flown in an ultralight aircraft and lots of private aircraft. Would have loved to attempted hang gliding.

I've cut a couple head of cows in practice while riding the Florida State Cutting Horse Champion. Wow! What a ride.

I've been chased my bulls while taking photos in (not just at) the rodeo arena and also in the woods and swamps of Florida while cow hunting with old Florida crackers.

I can work a bull whip. Want to hold a cigarette in your fingers while I cut it in two? And, I used to be a pretty good shot with a 22 using hand thrown 1 inch cube pieces of wood for targets.

One thing I haven't done that I'd like to: I would like to ride in a limo. Never have. But if I did, I'd probably ask to drive it.

2010-03-17T16:15:00.002-04:00

Nicknames.....

What is your favorite pet name for someone, or that someone has for you. How did it get started?

My grandfather always called me "Butch" -- I assume because as a kid, I always had my hair cut short.

Then while I was starting out in the computer biz at RCA in West Palm Beach back in 1965, everyone started calling me "Tex" because I always dressed western. (Never lived in Texas in my life.)

Back then, the compture biz was pretty small, so no matter where I moved to or what employer I had, I'd always run into someone that knew me by "Tex", so it stuck for a long while. Even to KSC in 1980 and all of the time I was in France. In fact, to this day, all of my french wife's relatives and friends all call me "Tex."

My wife, Claudine, often gets called "Clo" by family (including me). The kids ended up with using shortened versions of their names. Brigitte goes by Bri; Catherine goes by Cathy.

About 1980, I started using just the initials "DC" because a) I was tired of Tex and b) no one has ever been able to spell or pronounce my given names of Darhl Caylor Stultz.

Of course, if someone yells loud enough that I can hear and understand them, I'll even respond to "HEY YOU!"

2010-03-13T20:22:00.002-05:00

Have a pet peeve? Don't hold back. Tell us about it!

At age 70, I still program computers for a living. I design and code web applications for a defense contractor's local intranet web site. I try hard to not just meet the basic requirements that my in-house customers give me, but to exceed their expectations with their new applications.

And, my users send me gushing "attaboy" emails to thank me for my efforts quite frequently.

One word seems to crop up often: "awesome"

But it seems at least half of those emails say, "Your awesome!"

And, it drives me up a wall. I can't really send back a missive correcting them. I mean, they are being nice and are appreciative of my efforts on their behalf. So, I suffer in silence, well, because I am awesome.

But, please, if you send me an awesome message, try to make it "You're awesome!"

I do have a couple more teeth gnashers that also give me heartburn...

Confusing their with there and confusing affect for effect will normally get a spoken "aaaargh" when I read them.

2010-03-12T12:18:00.002-05:00

What is an invention you would like to see become real?

The best one would be an over-the-counter Get Well pill.

Just imagine. You have a nasty cold. Stop at the drug store and pick up a Get Well pill. (Wonder what they will call drug stores when they no longer have pharmacies inside? CVS, I guess, will become an upscale convenience store.)

You have something more serious? No problem. Stop at the any convenience store and pick up a Get Well pill.

Obviously, the side effects of the Get Well pill will be many fold. Hospitals will be empty and converted into condos, no doubt. Doctors will have to retire and live off of their unreasonable gains acquired pre-pill. Health insurance companies will be lining up for government handouts -- keeping their lobbyists employed for years.

A whole industry will learn what it is to be the stuckee versus the stucker. Which makes for a smile inducing visual, eh?

2010-03-07T10:58:00.002-05:00

Why no college education

When I graduated from high school (Plant High, Tampa, FL, 1957), I had the grades to go to college, but not the bucks. The only university in the area at the time was Tampa University - an expensive school. Hillsborough Jr College, St Petersburg Jr College and the University of South Florida did not exist at the time.

After high school, I worked for a short time doing photostat work for the Clerk of the Circuit Court, then like any hot headed 18 year old, I quit when I disagreed with the boss. While I was looking for other photo job opportunities, I interviewed with a guy and he asked me, "What what you like to do besides photography?" "Electronics," I replied.

He noted my bad arm from polio and suggested I contact state rehab for counseling. He also saw that I wouldn't follow through and so he picked up the phone and called a friend there and made an appointment for me.

I took their tests and they paid my way to Tampa Technical Institute. It was a glorified radio and TV repair school, but they gave a so-called AA degree and that gave me an entry into electronics.

I spent five years as a technician for a company in Sarasota, before getting laid off and then getting a job testing computers for RCA in West Palm Beach. That was the start of 45 years in the computer industry. It has treated me well -- despite the lack of a degree. In fact, for the last 40 of those years, I typically have been the only non-degreed person in my department.

Over the years, I have investigated getting the "piece of paper" a couple of times. The last time was in Melbourne. I visited with the computer science head at FIT. He looked at my resume and said, "If you had the piece of paper, I'd hire you to teach here. Getting the piece of paper will add nothing to your knowledge or your current pay check."

The secret, I think, is that I have never stopped learning -- it was just not in the classroom. The electronics theory I was taught was vacuum tubes, for Pete's sake! So the transistor theory I needed on my first job was all self-taught. I follow the computer industry closely. First by reading the trade publications and now by the internet. I know what the latest and greatest is and can pretty well figure out fad from must-learns.

Don't ever sell the non-degreed short. At Harris, I always mentored the recent college grads and it was always a hidden pleasure when they asked what college I graduated from. Their look of amazement when I told them "I didn't" was always a sense of satisfaction to me.

2010-03-01T18:08:00.002-05:00

First Memories

What is your earliest childhood memory? Is the memory really yours or do you think it comes from photos and family stories?

The first real memories that I recall were in Havre de Grace, MD. My dad was in the Army and was due to ship out soon for Europe. Mom and I were visiting.

And then WWII ended! Oh, the noise of all the car horns blaring. I didn't/couldn't understand at age 5 what the hell was going on, but I sure knew something big was happening.

Dad's mom then got some Congressman she knew to pull strings and he came home shortly thereafter. Like so much of my dad's happenings, I never learned the full, true story.

My mom kept in touch with the family of the little neighbor girl that I played with while we were there. She then set me up with a date with her when I was working in the Washington, DC area in 1961. We had one date: I took her to Atlantic City and we walked the boardwalk -- rather awkwardly, I have to admit. Never saw her again.

2010-02-28T10:31:00.002-05:00

Casino Tales

My first visits to casinos was in Las Vegas back in the early 1960's. Both were part off crosscountry treks via auto -- one a vacation, the other chasing employment. Both overnight stays in Vegas were profitable. In fact, on the vacation, after 4 weeks on the road, I came home with $300 more than I started with thanks to Vegas.

Some of that money came courtesy of George Burns. He was sitting next to me, smoking his trademark cigar for about an hour at the blackjack table. He lost, I didn't.

While I was working in Toulouse, France in 1967, I became a charter member of the Playboy Club in London. Since I was working at Sud Aviation and they had frequent flights to the English half of the airplane builder, I thought I'd be able to catch a ride up to London and go. That never happened.

But, when my time ran out in Toulouse, the company sent me to London to install a computer. Claudine, who was my girlfriend at the time, went with me. We ended up going to the Playboy Club for eats and the casino a couple of times. The last time, she was playing roulette and I was playing blackjack. I wasn't having any luck, so I stopped by to see how she was doing and if she was ready to call it quits too. She says, "Yeah, I am ready to leave, but I need to cash in these chips." My reply, "Oh, those chips are small, there's an easy way to get rid of them." With that, I pushed them all on black 13.

Wouldn't you know it. It hit. And there was more money in her chips than I thought. We won close to a month's salary on that one spin of the wheel!

2010-02-27T09:36:00.002-05:00

41 Years Ago Today

It was cold and snowy in Minneapolis. A Thursday.

The site: an apartment in Bloomington belonging to a Minneapolis cop and his wife.

The others in attendance: a drunk Minneapolis judge, who was the cop's drinking buddy, and the judge's wife, who was his designated driver.

The occasion: a wedding.

The best quote during the 90 minutes the group was together: The judge's wife saying, "If you want him to say anything coherent, you'd better get the ceremony over quickly."

Quotes that followed: "I do." "I do."

The aftermath: The judge's wife drove him home. Claudine, DC, the cop and the cop's wife went downtown to a hotel to celebrate Claudine and DC getting married.

The song that DC remembers at the hotel lounge: "Up, Up and Away in your beautiful balloon."

The funniest thing: DC dropped Claudine on her butt two feet inside the door when he carried her across the threshold. (Her heavy fake fur coat was slippery as all hell!)

The next day: DC put in his last day at CDC, loaded a u-haul trailer and they set out for the east coast to start his new job with DEC. They stopped in Chicago to pick up his relocation money and then let the new company pick up the tab for their honeymoon in Niagra Falls on their way.

2010-02-26T18:24:00.002-05:00

This blog has only been lying dormant for 9 years. Guess it is time to dust off the cobwebs and get a fresh start.

For starters, that last link to a vanity domain is no longer valid. I dropped the domain long ago.

For now, if you have any warm weather, send it to Florida please. It's been one of the coldest winters on record and my electric bill is KILLING ME!

2001-12-09T08:48:00.000-05:00

We've Moved!

We have purchased the dcstultz.com domain name and set up a little website there.

We're now blogging at http://www.dcstultz.com/blog/

Catch us there. (And bookmark it when you get there!)

2001-11-21T11:22:00.000-05:00

oh where oh where
Is our new theme?

2001-11-21T10:50:00.000-05:00

Time for a change

Time for a change in the page. Thought we'd spruce it up! :)

2001-11-21T10:43:00.000-05:00

Sheesh
Time flies when you are busy, busy, busy.

Now you know why there has been yet another void in the blogging

2001-10-11T10:18:00.000-04:00

It's been a while

What with the 9-11 tragedy and chaos in the Stultz manor for the past month, we've let this blog slide.

We're alive and kicking. That means we should be writing too. We promise to start

2001-09-11T15:39:00.000-04:00

Why today, of all days?

Is it perhaps the symbolism of Sept 11, which is written 9/11 in the states?

The attack on America certainly is a call to 911.

2001-09-07T17:01:00.000-04:00

This 'n That

Morning Message Well, we have completed our first week back as the editor (and flunky) for the MM daily humor newsletter. Sister Dawn needed a break since the break she gave me lasted non-stop for some 20 months a a couple of weeks.

I needed retraining. But found I just needed to do it once to be able to say "Oh, right. That's how I did it."

You can check it out here. BTW, we also do a naughty humor newsletter that goes out a couple times a week. You can subscribe to either by sending a request to dc@darlcomm.com.

Bush in the Hand

Seems Bush's flunkies in the Justice Department have thrown in the towel on the Microsoft anit-trust case. Damn. The government never gave up on me when I owed a small amount to the IRS back when. The rich definitely get treated differently than the poor in this country.

Arm Chair Detective

How can you tell if your secretary has been using your PC?

From the White Out on your screen.

2001-09-04T21:21:00.000-04:00

Bigger = Better?

HP is merging with Compaq. They will keep the HP name. Although I've seen several interesting combinations to tout the merger. Methinks that HPaq is the best of the lot.

I won't hold my breath about the merger. Bigger seldom equals better (unless you are a sumo wrestler).

Thousands will lose their jobs, of course. It comes with the territory. Only a select few will enjoy being separated from either company. Only those that will need and can afford Brinks trucks to haul their golden parachutes, will come out of this smelling like a rose.

What a lot of people don't know and the companies that are merging never tell you is that when the merger closes, all of the billions in the acquired company's bank account belongs to the victor. Selling out is the only legal way that the top brass of the company can lay claim to a good sized portion of that money.

That's what happened when About.com was acquired by Primedia. About had had a second successful stock offering and had $125 million cash in the bank. Primedia wanted (and needed) that cash bad! The chairman and CEO of About wanted to get his hands on that money too.

So he sold About. Primedia got the $125 million cash. The About CEO got a cushy salary and title and stock options. Only months later did the rest of the story come out. His contract guaranteed him $25 million for his PRM stock that he got in the sale. Last I heard, it was worth only about $9 million and Primedia is having to fork over the $16 million difference. Want to bet whether Primedia is looking to acquire another company with millions in the bank?

Sounds like a Ponzi scheme, doesn't it?

2001-09-03T19:13:00.000-04:00

Time Flies

Can't believe I didn't get any blogs up in the past week. Will have to work on doing that more often.

Busy week at work. Real busy. Nice project with HIGH visibility -- course that means we'd better do it right. And, it does look like it is working well.

Sister Dawn palmed off the Morning Message on me again. Been almost 2 years since she took it over. I'm still doing the naughty Castaways too.

Went to Orlando Saturday to daughter that was hosting a baby shower for the other daughter. Traffic was a dog on I-4 going over. Was relatively light on the way back.

Dawn and crewe went to the shower, then followed us back to Tampa Bay and stayed at our place while trying to find a house to buy. No luck yet.

BTW, Dawn is a lousy shot. She tried a half dozen times to hit me with a rubber band without success. And, yes, she started it!

2001-08-21T20:54:00.000-04:00

White Dots Keep Falling on my Head

People who know DC know that he is a practical joker. That means that he gets blamed for things that he doesn't do, as well as for those that he has done.

It turns out he is not the only one.

The background: A couple years ago, DC's coworker, Paul Wagner, left his umbrella unattended in his cubicle. DC opened it up, filled it with the dots from the 3-hole punch and secured the strap again. And forgot about it, since Paul didn't raise a ruckus about it.

A month goes by. Paul arrives one morning shouting, "You! You! It had to be you!"

DC's reply was "Huh?"

Paul then tells what happened the day before. He'd taken his umbrella and put it in his car. And it had been there for a month and not used. The day before, for the first time in months, his wife used his car to go shopping. And it rained. And she opened the umbrella and had white dots in her hair, blown in the car, every where. And she blamed Paul for the adventure.

Fast forward to last week. I brought my umbrella in to work one morning when it was drizzling. Didn't wrap it up tight since it was wet; just hung in on the wall of my cube. And forgot to take it back out to the car for a couple of days.

Paul walks by and smirks and remarks that it is a good target for chad.

I look in it and sure enough it was loaded with white dots. So I calmly walked next door to Paul's cubicle and opened the umbrella over his chair. There were dots everywhere.

I thought it odd that Paul didn't try to stop me. And his "Oh no!" when he saw the blizzard of dots falling did sound sincere, but it HAD to have been him, right? He claimed it wasn't him and he admitted he couldn't think of anyone else to blame it on either. Paul caught a lot of flack for all the dots on the floor of his office -- even our manager stopped by and asked if it was his birthday.

Last Friday the culprit confessed to Paul On Monday, Paul told me he knew who did it, but that he wouldn't tell me because "you'd never believe me!"

Monday, the culprit confessed to me.

No, the butler didn't do it. It was our manager!

In the six years I've known him, he has never pulled a practical joke. Never.

Something tells me that with the success of this initial effort, he may strike again.

2001-08-19T10:43:00.000-04:00

France By the Numbers

Our trip to France was not inexpensive, but it felt that way. The dollar was strong against the Euro and French Franc, which meant the best exchange rate for my bucks that I've ever received.

Historically, the exchange rate has always been in the 5 French Francs (ff) to the dollar range. Although, in the past, I've had to face less than 5 ff on previous excursions. In July, we received exchange rates from 7.04 to 7.40 to the buck.

That made the mental math one must do to compare prices (quick: if the price tag is 35 ff, what is it's cost in dollars?) a bit more complicated. You can divide by 5 by multiplying by 2 and moving a decimal point, but you can't do that with 7-something.

In the tourist areas (Nice, Cannes, Monaco, Paris) there are little hole-in-the-wall change offices everywhere. And they are fair. I can't say the same for airport change kiosks -- in the states or in France.

I thought about changing a few bucks at the Tampa airport before we left, but when I saw their rate of 6.65 ff to the dollar, I didn't. I didn't even try to exchange money at the Nice airport. We just got our rental car and drove to the wife's cousin's place.

After lunch and a much needed nap, I walked three blocks to a change office and cashed $500 in travelers checks for 3727 ff.

I must admit that travelers checks aren't used much anymore. The $1500 in TC's that I had cost me $15 in fees at my credit union when I took the money out of savings. I just don't like to carry that much in cash on me.

When we reached the small village where my mother-in-law lives, I cashed $300 in TCs at the local bank. That was where I got my worse conversion rate and the stinkers also charged me a 50 ff fee for doing the transaction.

I see from my credit card bill that the one night in a hotel that I spent was charged using 7.41 francs to the buck. So you get the good rates when you use your credit card. I didn't have to dip into the checking account via ATMs while I was away, but it should have been just as good. Except I bet my back would charge that damn $1.50 fee for not using their ATM.

You won't fare as well as I. I see the dollar has fallen since my return two weeks ago. You wouldn't get even 7 francs to the buck today.

2001-08-16T20:13:00.000-04:00

Egads!
Has it really been a week since I updated the blog? Darn.

They say it takes three weeks to make or break a habit. Guess how long I was gone to France on vacation? Yep. Three delicious weeks!

It admittedly has been a bit difficult getting back into harness.

The French are Unanimous!

Every French man and woman that either my wife or I talked with about the subject said the same thing: Bush sucks!

Their comments included:

"He's a mental lightweight." (Although I think that may have been a translation error, in that they didn't know the English translation for the French midget.)

"He doesn't know what he is doing."

"Others are running your government for him."

A look on the bright side... seems the French and many Americans now agree on something. **grin**

Sitting Down on the Job

It must be the law. That's the only way I can figure it.

Every cashier at French supermarkets sit down. They have a chair to sit and they don't budge from it. Their scanning stations for the UPC codes on the groceries are lower to accomodate them too.

You have to bag your own groceries. They give you the plastic bags -- which are now universal over there. I didn't see anyone using their own mesh bags like they used to do it the past.

I hate to say it, but I think the supermarket cashiers are either ex-restaurant wait staff or they flunked out of waiter school. Not sure why, but I never ran into a friendly one the entire time I was in France.

2001-08-09T18:48:00.000-04:00

Tons of Luggage

Sometimes it is better if you don't get a bright idea.

Yesterday, the light bulb lit above the head and I sat down and listed each time I had to lift the TWO 70 pound suitcases that we took to France. Since they both weighed 80 pounds on the return, I used an average weight of 75 pounds each and multiplied by the 18 times I remembered lifting them and came up with 2700 pounds.

If you add in the hefting of the two 25 pound hand luggages, the heavy camera bag, the insulated drink bag (and there were many more times that I lifted them), I probably lifted over 2 tons (!!) of stuff during my vacation.

No wonder I am tired this week.

Driving in France

I am an unusual American; I love to drive in France.

The French drive fast, but safely (well, er, for the most part anyway). They are very predictable in what they are about to do. They use turn signals to change lanes. They stay on the right, if they can. That means that traffic doesn't bunch up on the autoroutes like it does on our interstates.

I reserved a Renault Scenic wagon, but ended up with "an equivalent" Opel Zafira. The Opel is about the size of an American minivan. It worked out perfectly for those two heavy, large luggages. I just opened the back hatch (up) and slid the luggages in side-by-side. Then I tossed the hand luggage on top.

It was a 5-speed straight stick (the automatic would have been an extra $300) with air conditioning. Thank God for the a/c! BTW, car rental in France in tourist season is expensive. My 3-week rental without the a/c was a little over $800. Not including $1 a liter (that's about $4 a gallon) gas. Nor did it include our expensive autoroute tolls.

My left leg got a lot of exercise since we did a lot of two-lane mountain driving and bumper-to-bumper (hmmm, around the Etoile at the Arc de Triumph you could say bumper-to-door) driving. Since I wear my Frenchman hat when I drive over there, that means I did all of the shifting necessary to try and keep up with traffic. (Hell, the truth is that I tried to out-race them! And succeeded some of the time.)

Up shift, down shift, up shift. You know... 2 - 3 - 2 - 3 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 3. Damn rare to make it to gear 5 in the mountains.

It had a 1.8 liter, 16 valve engine. Strong car. With the European gearing, that meant it would go faster than 160 km/hr (that's 100 mph!) easily. Even fully loaded. And... it did! Several times!

I actually got compliments, not complaints, from the french passengers that rode with me. Nary a gasp from 'em. Do any of you know of a grand prix racing team that needs an aging driver?

2001-08-07T07:39:00.000-04:00

We're back from France!

The wife and I got back home at 2 a.m. on Sunday after three weeks visiting her relatives and the various sights in France. The weather was hot and air conditioning was not often available, but we had a great time.

Here's a thumbnail sketch of the trip...

Spent the first week in Nice with bed and board furnished by a cousin, who lived just four blocks from the Med beaches. Yes, we saw a few topless sunbathers. *grin*

Managed to make trips to Cannes and Monaco. Yes, we gambled there. A little. At the cheap casino, not the one where the cost of admission was arriving in a Ferrari, Lambergini, or stretch Mercedes. And with the minimum bet at blackjack 200 french francs, we limited our gambling to 1 ff electronic slots. :-)

We stopped by St. Tropez for half a day on our way to Digne to spend three nights with the wife's sister. It is an interesting town, but the traffic jams we had to endure to get there made it not one of our favorite stops.

We took two days to go from Digne to the wife's mother's place 40 miles south of Paris. Spent our only night in a hotel in Beaune (just south of Djon). Was a Novotel. Almost a clone of a Holiday Inn. The wife enjoyed the pool and we both enjoyed a night of sleep in a/c.

During our last week at the mother-in-law's place in Boutigny Sur Essonne -- a typical French village, we managed to make three trips up to Paris. The highlight of the trip was the Sunday, July 29, journey to Champs Elysees to see the end of the Tour de France. American Lance Armstrong won the world's most famous bike race for the third time.

I survived 2400 km of French driving. Rented an Opel Zafira wagon. Nice car. And it did 160 km/hr (that's 100 mph!) easily on the autoroutes.

We ate well. We walked a lot. We had fun. We spent less than we budgeted. I'm ready to go again.

2001-07-20T05:10:00.000-04:00

NICE is nice!
We arrived in Nice on Monday and are having a great time. Weather is in the 70's (low 60's at night)...

We're staying with the wife's cousin and they are treating us like royalty. There is only one way to describe the food: oh, la la

But I bet that I will come home weighing less than when I left. Every day we walk miles (and miles and miles). That's the French way. Besides I don't like giving up my pristine, free parking spot that is right in front of their condo. If I move the car, I'll end up parking 6 blocks away in an underground parking garage.

Forget the American idea of French rudeness. Everyone has been great. Even the news stand gal had me roaring with laughter this morn. I gave her a 20 Franc note for my morning USA Today newspaper that costs 10 ff. She pretended to tear it in two and hand me back half of it. BTW, I do not speak French. I do know some words and can count. I'm not above using what little I know and using hand gestures for the rest. Most French know more English than I know French and will use it if you make the first attempt.

I find it humorous that I have been stopped twice so far this week by tourists asking for directions. Do I look French? Not really. oh well, who knows what the hell tourists will do.

We'll be headed to Digne, then Paris the first of the week. Not sure when I'll be able to update this again. You'll just have to watch for the updates.

(You know I'll try... after all, I am typing this in a little internet hole-in-the-wall instead of going to the beach with the wife. Yes, the beaches are topless here. Yes, that shows my dedication, right?)

2001-07-15T09:05:00.000-04:00

We're ready to leave

The bags are packed, weighed, some things unpacked, weighed and ready to be put in the van.

Our driver - daughter Cathy - is here. (Using our water to wash her Jeep.) She'll take us to Tampa International in a couple of hours.

It is Tampa to JFK, a 3 hr layover and then an 8 hr flight to Nice.

I'll try to post things here when I can. No promises. Just will try.

2001-07-13T20:25:00.000-04:00

I Guessed Correctly

I eyeballed the wife's luggage that she has packed for the trip to France. I attempted to lift one end. Oh, oh. I went across the street and borrowed a bathroom scale from Paul.

Weighed myself: 165 lb
Weighed myself while straining to lift the luggage: 240 lb

Net weight of luggage: 75 lb

And Delta's web site says 70 lb max or else they'll charge me excess weight charge. Oh Oh

DC: "Dear, ahem, er, Love, something has got to go."

At least this time I know the response won't be "Yeah, you!" After all, she needs me to lift in into the van to go to the airport and into the rental car and... and... and... for the next three weeks.

2001-07-12T20:04:00.000-04:00

CDC, IBM, MS and DC's Memory

Dave Winer put out one of his DaveNet newsletters tonight suggesting that IE browser be split off from Microsoft as a separate company. He calls it BrowserCo.

It is not a bad idea. And, we're not sure if Dave realized that something similar happened way back in 1968.

Control Data Corporation (CDC) sued IBM for antitrust marketing behavior. Every time CDC introduced a new product, IBM would immediately counter with a product announcement of its own for the same device. And, they did it even if they had not done any work on such a product or were even going to. It was just a way to stifle competition.

The result of the lawsuit was that IBM transferred its subsidiary, Service Bureau Corporation, to Control Data for an insignificant amount. You can read all about that and more CDC history here.

I keep telling you that I am an old fart in this IT business. This helps prove it. I worked for CDC back then as a Customer Engineer on their big bertha computers - the CDC 6600. That machine was awesome. Thanks to a part of the machine called "the stuntbox", it could even perform instructions out of sequence. Instructions were executed in parallel (if possible) due to different hardware being used for adds, multiplies, divides. If you were not waiting on a result from a previous instruction, the next one would be executed.

Who says old computer pros lose their memory?

2001-07-09T18:23:00.000-04:00

Look what the email brought

I publish a couple of humor emails. So that means that my inbasket gets filled with all kinds of things. (Yeah, I know that is typical of most everyone. But think an order of magnitude different.)

A friend sent me this link for a bunch of funny signs. Please beware that some are for mature audiences, even though they supposedly were found in public.

Linus book finished

Make that: I finished Linus Torvalds's bio Just for Fun. Good read. Nice guy. Recommended highly.

Still getting ready

We leave this coming Sunday for three weeks in France. Have a daughter and my sister who are going to share house sitting and bird sitting duties while we are gone. Bird sitting? Yeah, checkout this pic of Java.

I think most everything (except for film and video cassettes) is bought; most is packed.

BTW, if you want to see a pic of this guy, his wife and a couple of french celebs, check this out.

2001-07-08T16:34:00.000-04:00

Reflection

Dan Gillmor has a great column on Reflection.

I have to wonder how many of you will even take the time to read it, let alone practice it.

There's been a lot written about US vacations lately. Including the forced ones for many in Silicon Valley and how, in the US, many don't take the vacations they have coming.

I'm headed out to France next Sunday. For three weeks. It has been interesting to see the reaction of people at work when I tell them. The typical response: "THREE weeks!!!! WOW!" It is beyond their comprehension.

I don't do that every year. Wish I could. I've found that it takes one week to unwind, one week to enjoy, and one week to worry about getting back to work.

2001-07-07T19:21:00.000-04:00

Speaking of Experience

We've always liked this quote...

Good judgement comes from experience;
Experience comes from bad judgement.

2001-07-07T19:19:00.000-04:00

The K&E Coincidence

No sooner had I put up something about a K&E slide rule (see below) than this slide rule link was promo'ed on Slashdot, of all places.

Aaargh, the comments in that Slashdot thread make me sound like some ancient geek! Next thing you know, they'll start discussing vacuum tubes...

Guess we need a motto for this blog. How about - It's not the age that counts, it's the experience.

2001-07-07T12:22:00.000-04:00

The Generation Gap

I've been reading Linus Torvalds's autobiography, Just for Fun. Good book. Sharp kid.

What is amazing to this old geek/nerd is that I can relate to him a lot. Different generation -- I did get my start with computers before he was born, after all -- but a sameness is there.

For instance:

A kid with little or no social skills in school. Glasses. Didn't care for phys ed. He played with computers after hours; I played with a K&E slide rule. He and I both liked math and science and did well in them without studying.
Focus. I can relate to his ability to focus on a task. You had to hit me alongside the head to get my attention if I was intent on something. Still do, in fact.
Machine code beginning. Although I was 25 when I was introduced to computers while working as a tech on the bring-up floor at RCA in Palm Beach Gardens, FL, I quickly picked up machine code programming. And, with a red haired guy by the name of Chris Braidwood managed to turn the memory bank lights into a scrolling message board. (Anyone know Chris? would love to get in touch with him.)
Beautiful code. Tight, elegant code has always been my forte. In the old days, you had to code that way to get it to fit. It's a habit I carry over today.
The thrill of figuring out how to do something the "right" way. I always seem to spend more time thinking through the problem than most programmers. The "Eureka!" moment is a real high. The coding is a piece of cake after that.

It's a shame that I don't use Linux, isn't it?

2001-07-07T12:06:00.000-04:00

Countdown is getting shorter

Gosh, only a week until we leave for a 3-week vacation in France. I'm going to need the vacation to rest up from all the activities necessary to get ready to go. :)

Be sure to watch the blog while I'm gone. I'll try to update it once (probably in a great) in a while while we're there.

2001-07-05T12:48:00.000-04:00

Alas, no hope for me

I've been procrastinating on writing a book for years. According to this article, maybe it is a good thing.

It is hard enough to write well enough to do a book -- now they expect you to be pretty or handsome too? Does that mean the only genre available to me would be horror tales?

2001-07-05T09:18:00.000-04:00

Achoo!

It appears that in today's economy when Silicon Valley sneezes everyone catches a cold.

According to this article, many of the Silicon Valley companies have closed for the entire week, forcing employees to take the time off either without pay or to use vacation time.

Think San Jose and you think dot-com. Think dot-com and you think of horrible online ad sales. But those poor ad sales aren't just on the web.

This week's InfoWorld is a puny 44 pages. That's half of the previous week's size. It looks and feels more like a pamphlet than a trade pub. I counted only 11 full page ads and that includes the two on the inside and outside of the back cover. One has to wonder if they contracted their ad sales out to About.com.

At the end of last year, the size of Fast Company and Business 2.0 rivaled a Sears Catalog. You could get a hernia carrying them from the mailbox into the house. Since then, they look like they hired Richard Simmons as publisher and started attending Weight Watchers every day.

There is a positive side of all this -- if you are a tree.

2001-07-04T21:37:00.000-04:00

As I write this, it is almost like WW III outside the house. Fireworks EVERYWHERE! With nature even adding some of its own - lightening.

In Florida, only sparklers are legal. But there is a fireworks tent on every other corner. Why? Well, you can buy roman candles and goodies that rival the municipal fireworks displays if you sign a paper saying that you are going to use it to hail a train or to scare birds for an agriculture venture.

I didn't realize that we had so many farmers in our neighborhood. Funny too that they have to fire them off after the birds go to roost!

Don't get me wrong. I like fireworks. But not when they threaten my property. If that makes me a curmudgeon, so be it.

2001-07-03T19:52:00.000-04:00

Flatulence Exposed

It is indeed true that you can find information on the web about anything!

With this site, I learned lots regarding a subject that I'd always been too polite to ask questions about.

2001-07-03T19:02:00.000-04:00

What's Wrong with Slashdot?

The geek's favorite site, Slashdot, appears to be down again. They had a serious Cisco front end problem a week ago and haven't been stable since.

It's got to be embarrassing as hell when the geeks can't keep their site on the air.

This surely isn't some conspiracy by their corporate parent, VA Linux, to save expenses by cutting back on bandwidth, is it?

2001-07-03T12:57:00.000-04:00

PMS

Bumper Sticker seen on car in the parking lot as we came back from lunch...

PMS -- Punish Men Severely

2001-07-02T17:43:00.000-04:00

Stupidity Question

If you were brought into a court of law on a charge of stupidity, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

2001-07-02T15:09:00.000-04:00

Stupidity

This past weekend was my first in a long time without a deadline for creating online content for a freelance gig. So I enjoyed the time off, deftly avoided the honey-do list and spent time reading.

I finished off Sue Grafton's new P for Peril, then read Janet Evanovich's newest Stephanie Plum mystery 7 Up and Donald Westlake's Bad News.

The best of the three was Evanovich's book. I roared with laughter at Plum's antics (out loud, multiple times, which is unusual when you're reading a mystery novel). Plum's family and friends -- particularly Grandma that loves to go to viewings -- certainly puts the DYS in DYSfunctional.

However, it was one of Westlake's minor characters, an upstate New York small county judge, that gave me pause.

The judge was of the opinion that it was his job to oversee the consequences for stupidity. Two good old boys run out of beer at 4 a.m., so they break into the locked up convenience store for more. The judge sentences them to two to five. For B&E? Nah, for stupidity. Think about it: Do you really sentence someone for DUI or do you sentence them for being stupid?

Which takes us to Microsoft. (Doesn't everything?)

The appeals court slapped Judge Jackson. For bias? Nah, for stupidity. Gates's videotaped testimony was a farce and just showed the richest man in the world acting stupid. Trying to fool the judge with faked video? One word: stupid.

Microsoft didn't pull in its horns during the appeal. They're doing more of the same over and over and over. Just aggressive business as usual? Nah, just being stupid. And, eventually they will have to face more judges over their stupidity.

Makes you kinda wish that fictional old county judge in upstate New York could hear the cases, doesn't it?

2001-07-01T09:57:00.000-04:00

That's a good question

I'm a big fan of Marilyn Vos Savant, who has a column in the weekly Parade Sunday newspaper suppliment. She is pretty, brainy (she's in the Guinness Book of Records for Highest IQ) and has a wild sense of humor.

In today's issue she published a couple dozen questions that readers had sent in that don't need to be answered, just enjoyed. Here are my favorites from the collection...

If you sank an elevator shaft through the earth from the U.S. to Australia and baorded the elevator in New York, would you be standing on your head when the elevator door opened in Sydney?

Is it true than an IQ can actually differ dramatically even from day to day? Is it also true than an IQ can drop even without having children or any other activity that causes brain damage?

I heard there is a USA Shopping Team. Where can I find out about it and how do I join?

Ahem, if you know the answer to that last one, please let me know. I'm sure that my wife is qualified and would be interested in it.

2001-06-30T19:05:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday to Dawn

Gosh, you know you are getting old when your kid sister turns 54!

Dawn Henthorn, who edits The Morning Message humor email digest for me and is the Guide for Florida for Visitors on About.com, had to get out of bed at the crack of dawn on her birthday today so that she could host three (!) different realtors bringing people by. They're trying to sell their home in Ocala so they can relocate to the Tampa Bay Area. Is this area big enough for both of us?

It is never too late to send her an email birthday greeting. Send it to dawn@darlcomm.com. You can send all of the jokes that you have socked away in your email client too. She'll appreciate them!

2001-06-30T13:40:00.000-04:00

Management Speak

Doc Searls and others have been having a field day with what Doc calls the TechnoLatin on the KnowNow site. It's the kind of management babble-speak that made Buzzword Bingo so popular for a while.

I think the answer to why would anyone bother to put up such garbage-nonsense is simple: The web site was put up to satisfy KnowNow management, not their customers. I'd suspect that their intranet (if they have one) is even more useless.

Someone (was it Jakob Nielsen?) once said: "If the CEO likes your web site, it is not doing its job."

To me, any species that ever would dare to utter "synergies" with a straight face is a part of the problem, not the solution. Management have their own agenda (to make themselves rich at the expense of the bodies that they climb) and have their own vocabulary. The #1 rule for the vocabulary is that there be nothing concrete in it -- one must always leave weasel room.

The only time that management ever wants to deal in specifics is when they are negotiating their employment contracts and golden parachutes.

2001-06-28T14:16:00.000-04:00

Microsoft Wins (Sort of)

The appeals court vacates the breakup penalty and says another judge will handle the honors in place of Judge Jackson. But - and it is a big BUT - the Findings of Fact stand.

That means the new judge will be deciding on the new penalties. In theory, that could even mean another breakup order. But don't hold your breath.

Would Microsoft have knuckled under about putting Smart Tags in the upcoming XP had they known of this turn of events? Probably. They are not really yanking the code out; they're just not making it active right now. They will. They never, ever give up. It's best to remember that.

2001-06-28T08:34:00.000-04:00

Lose-Lose Decisions

I wasn't surprised at VA Linux's reorg announcement. The rumors had already surfaced on VA's best known web site, Slashdot, last week.

After some thought, VA's decision to halt making Linux hardware and concentrate on their SourceForge Onsite stuff and their former Bendover (as ex-employees of Andover have nicknamed it) web sites makes as much sense as anything they could do.

Which half should they ax? The hardware or the web sites?

Hardware is a low margin business and with Dell, IBM, HP jumping into the Linux hardware scene, the competition is brutal. Web sites, in this ad starvation time, is a negative margin business. Jetson one or the other and you lower the burn rate. But that only means you'll manage a little longer before you run out of money and have to shutter the doors.

I think it was a case of a lose-lose decision. If they kept the hardware and tossed their money-losing web sites, the hardware side would gone south rapidly. Why? One of the web sites is Slashdot. Do anything to hurt Slashdot and the repercusions will be felt - BIG TIME.

So they decided to chop the hardware. And feed the bandwidth hog Slashdot and its (ex?) millionaires.

Kinda gives new meaning to the old phrase "Damn if you do, damn if you don't".

2001-06-27T19:09:00.000-04:00

I guess it is time to roll up the sleeves and start to add stuff to this. My excuses have disappeared -- i.e., I have quit as moderator of the I-Wireless digest and I am no longer an About guide.

Now, I'll just have to come to grips and decide just how much I want to say about my previous net gigs. *grin*

2001-06-19T18:57:00.000-04:00

Well, I had to try my hand at blogging. If Doc Searles can do it, hell so can I.

I've done a bit of everything else on the net...

IT Guide on About.com for two years
Moderator for the I-Wireless Digest for the past six months
Edit and publish the Castaways humor email twice a week for over 2-1/2 years

and more! Lot's More.